Ninety Days, Days Sixty Four, Sixty Five, and Sixty Six.
My reading has actually taken me into the end of Day 68, which puts me in the early chapters of the Gospel of Matthew, but I’ve been a bit lagging in writing about the previous days. There’s a great promise in Hosea 11:1:
“When Israel was a child, I loved him,
and out of Egypt I called my son.
The Gospel of Matthew references this, as the infant Jesus is taken to Egypt to escape the infant slaughter by Herod. Matthew 2:13-15 states:
13When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.” 14So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, 15where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: “Out of Egypt I called my son.”
It is yet another sign foretelling Christ in the Old Testament.
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I have had a couple of soccer practices lately wherein the girls have been a bit more difficult to manage. After all, they are 11 year olds, mostly 6th graders, and it’s an age where they start pushing the limits of authority, particularly when it comes to certain drills that they aren’t fond of. Some have flat out refused to participate, so as my anger builds, I give them the option of participating, or running laps until that drill is over (participating in the drill usually wins out…)
But I’ve realized that my anger, at times, displays itself in ways that probably isn’t most effective, even though I might consider it to be righteous anger within the context of coaching. So it was convicting to read, during Day 65, the following passage in the book of Joel 2:13:
Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.
There’s a great prayer that stuck with me in the book of Jonah. In verse 2 of chapter 2:
“In my distress I called to the LORD,
and he answered me.
From the depths of the grave I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
God will always answer when we call him. Always.
Have you ever asked yourself what the source of that anger might be (other than teenagers?
Irrational anger is the worst. It lies right under your skin and just explodes when you least expect it. I’m not sure there is a cure because it often seems to be based on stress.
The best answer I can give is to deal with the source of the stress. If you want to get these drills done because you want to remain on schedule, then maybe you’re scheduling too much. If you want to get them done because the girls need to know these skills for the game, then maybe having a team focus meeting before each practice where you tell the girls what to expect and why would put all of you on the same page.
I don’t know. But whenever I find myself losing my cool for stupid reasons, I try to take a step back and find the log in my own eye first – correct that – and then move on. 99 times out of 100, delogging my own eye cures the problem.
I feel your pain, brother. Kids can push my buttons like no other. You’ve noticed that I’m not a youth pastor any more
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Will’s point about stress is interesting. I think he’s on to something, but the stress that reduces your immunity to anger may not be directly related to what is happening with the kids. Makes it that much harder to control.
Which – I don’t know – might be something to hang onto as your vision starts to turn hazy red. We control very little. But we can trust God that all is working together for good because we love God and are called to find his purpose for our lives.
Looking back, the anger isn’t related to stress, because I know that God has worked in me to control that kind of “irrational” anger, and I’m much better at seeing those warning signs.
This anger is really related to coaching, not any other sources of anger (and I apologize for not making that distinction in the post). I know that in this context, I still need more work – it’s not just an anger issue, but also a leadership issue – learning to lead, even with ‘tweens.
Ah ha. An I should have been clear that I was not diagnosinng your problem, but mine….
Of course, on the other hand, I know few coaches who don’t yell at their “kids”. I think there are a few things in life where we expect to be yelled at – sports being one of them. It might be hard for us to accept, but sometimes its also good for our growth and maturity. One coach that I know yells a ton, but no kid would ever doubt his love and commitment to them.
It reminds me that the one time my Drill Instructor didn’t yell, we all knew we were screwed!